Bella Swan is a bitch.
She's our heroine, our narrator, our emotional core in a world of vampires, and I hated her by page 7.
Maybe I don't do well with irascible youngsters as the first-person narrator - when I read Catcher in the Rye in high school I wanted to punch Holden Caulfield in the face. But Bella's problems are much lesser than a world full of phonies. Her parents divorced when she was young, and after living in Phoenix with her mother (who is "scatterbrained") during her formative years, she's spending high school tenure with her father in gloomy Forks, WA (Bella's "personal hell on Earth"). Charlie's not a bad guy, though. Sure, her new ride is an decades-old pickup truck, but he got it for her as a welcome home present. Whatcha think, Bella?
"Wow. Free."
Oh, you cunt.
So she warms on the car later. She's young, she's from a broken home, maybe she'll turn out okay eventually. Then comes the first day of school. Having been there myself, I can say that the first day at a new school sucks. It's the definition of awkward. You do your best to find some allies in the other new kids and hope that everything turns out for the best. It's even worse in a small town like Forks, where everybody knows everybody and a newcomer sticks out like a sore thumb. All eyes are on her, although in Bella's mind it's not just because she's the new girl; she's clearly superior to the small town hicks. She's desperate not to stand out, but everyone gravitates towards her nonetheless. She gets the syllabus for her English class and she's read it all before. Twice she associates bravery with those who attempt to talk to her. Girls try to befriend her but she can't remember their names. As far as the eligible bachelors of Forks go, the nerdy guy who tries to help her through her first day she labels "overly helpful." The more attractive one who helps her, however, is "the nicest person I'd met today." But then comes Edward.
He and his vampire buddies sit together at lunch, away from the great unwashed. Bella's instantly drawn to them - and why not? They're ridiculously attractive, well-dressed, and graceful. They're equally aloof, which doesn't fare well for Bella when the only free seat in her biology class is next to him. He looks like he wants to kill her the entire time, for reasons she can't fathom. When the bell rings, he bolts. "He was so mean. It wasn't fair." Poetic justice, it seems, is lost on her.
As far as first impressions of Stephenie Meyer's much bemoaned writing style, it's pretty clumsy in that easily accessible Dan Brown way but rarely terrible. It could be intentional; after all, the narrator is a teenage girl. So no demerits... yet.
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