Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sesame Street's Mad Men parody
Sesame Street using the word "sycophants" makes my freaking day.
Also, there really isn't much of a difference between Pete Campbell and one of those squealing Muppets.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Let's talk about how disheartening Pray for Death is.
After my last debacle trying to enjoy a ninja movie, I was determined not to make the same mistake twice. I was going to go with Mr 80's Ninja himself, Sho Kosugi. I was going to go with Pray for Death.
Sadly, these are the times that try men's souls, so long as those men are ones who like watching ninja movies.
My new rule is to only watch ninja movies made by Cannon Films, with very few exceptions. Kosugi's films with Cannon were a master class in ridiculousness - see here for proof. Pray for Death, however, comes from Trans World Entertainment, and I'm afraid they don't have Cannon's high standards.
The plot is fairly standard ninja stuff. Kosugi moves his family to America to start a restaurant, gets involved with a crime boss who targets his family, and proceeds to kick ass.
To be fair, Pray for Death does contain snippets of awesomeness, like a climactic chainsaw fight, but these are backloaded onto the second half of the film. The first half is mainly useless exposition, and I don't just mean that in the sense of that it takes up time setting up character development when all we really want to see is Kosugi slashing guys with a sword. I mean that, for example, there's a flashback at the beginning where Kosugi kills a ninja who tried to steal gold from his temple, but the ninja turns out to be his brother... and it's NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN.
Pray for Death is on Hulu. If you have some time to kill and want to bask in 80's ninja cheese, skip to the halfway point and start from there. Otherwise, I'd advise working your way alphabetically through the Cannon ninja filmography.
Sadly, these are the times that try men's souls, so long as those men are ones who like watching ninja movies.
My new rule is to only watch ninja movies made by Cannon Films, with very few exceptions. Kosugi's films with Cannon were a master class in ridiculousness - see here for proof. Pray for Death, however, comes from Trans World Entertainment, and I'm afraid they don't have Cannon's high standards.
The plot is fairly standard ninja stuff. Kosugi moves his family to America to start a restaurant, gets involved with a crime boss who targets his family, and proceeds to kick ass.
To be fair, Pray for Death does contain snippets of awesomeness, like a climactic chainsaw fight, but these are backloaded onto the second half of the film. The first half is mainly useless exposition, and I don't just mean that in the sense of that it takes up time setting up character development when all we really want to see is Kosugi slashing guys with a sword. I mean that, for example, there's a flashback at the beginning where Kosugi kills a ninja who tried to steal gold from his temple, but the ninja turns out to be his brother... and it's NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN.
Pray for Death is on Hulu. If you have some time to kill and want to bask in 80's ninja cheese, skip to the halfway point and start from there. Otherwise, I'd advise working your way alphabetically through the Cannon ninja filmography.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Top Chef Las Vegas 9/23
What a toss-up of an elimination. I was leaning towards Ash, to be perfectly honest.
Power rankings:
1. Michael
2. Bryan
3. Kevin
4. Jennifer
5. Eli
6. Ashley
7. Mike
8. Robin
9. Laurine
10. Ash
The top four are once again fairly interchangeable. Michael has only one Elimination Challenge win to Kevin's three (three!) and Bryan's two, but he's placed as a judge's favorite in every episode except the first. The concentration of power is a first for Top Chef; only those three chefs have won Elimination Challenges at the six-episode mark. Ashley has had some surprisingly strong episodes lately, but I don't see her becoming a dark horse a la Lisa or Carla.
Power rankings:
1. Michael
2. Bryan
3. Kevin
4. Jennifer
5. Eli
6. Ashley
7. Mike
8. Robin
9. Laurine
10. Ash
The top four are once again fairly interchangeable. Michael has only one Elimination Challenge win to Kevin's three (three!) and Bryan's two, but he's placed as a judge's favorite in every episode except the first. The concentration of power is a first for Top Chef; only those three chefs have won Elimination Challenges at the six-episode mark. Ashley has had some surprisingly strong episodes lately, but I don't see her becoming a dark horse a la Lisa or Carla.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
"Please welcome to the show DON DRAAAAAPERRRRR!"
Tomorrow, Oprah devotes an entire show to the 1960's, a la Mad Men. Jon Hamm and January Jones will be guests, as will the cast of Jersey Boys, everyone will be dressed in the fashions of the decade, and she'll even have a list of 60's Favorite Things.
Am I the only one who thinks this is stupendously ill-conceived?
Yes, Mad Men is a very style-conscious show; that's part of its appeal. Its main character is also an unhappy, adulterous identity thief. And did she not realize that in this season alone, Mad Men has had one character perform in blackface and two others refuse to run an integrated ad campaign?
It gets worse when you move outside the fictional confines of the show. Oprah would have loved Chicago in the 1960's. Martin Luther King, Jr moved to Chicago in 1966 to help put an end to the slums but Mayor Daley himself used the city's political machine to impede his progress and the city's whites weren't exactly welcoming either. According to Wikipedia, he "received a worse reception than [he] had in the South." Ouch. And you're damn right there were riots in city after his assassination, which thanks to the 1968 Democratic National Convention, were only the SECOND worst thing to happen in the city that year.
But hey, they dressed snappier back then.
Am I the only one who thinks this is stupendously ill-conceived?
Yes, Mad Men is a very style-conscious show; that's part of its appeal. Its main character is also an unhappy, adulterous identity thief. And did she not realize that in this season alone, Mad Men has had one character perform in blackface and two others refuse to run an integrated ad campaign?
It gets worse when you move outside the fictional confines of the show. Oprah would have loved Chicago in the 1960's. Martin Luther King, Jr moved to Chicago in 1966 to help put an end to the slums but Mayor Daley himself used the city's political machine to impede his progress and the city's whites weren't exactly welcoming either. According to Wikipedia, he "received a worse reception than [he] had in the South." Ouch. And you're damn right there were riots in city after his assassination, which thanks to the 1968 Democratic National Convention, were only the SECOND worst thing to happen in the city that year.
But hey, they dressed snappier back then.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Top Chef Las Vegas 9/16
Not a lot to say about this one, since it was pretty straightforward: the good chefs did well, the bad ones did poorly, and the right cheftestant got the boot. The odd cooking conditions did level the playing field a bit, though: who thought we'd see Ashley or Laurine get chosen as favorites?
What was up with Tim Love's shirt? And speaking of apparel: Gail, it's the desert, let the twins breathe a little!
Ron sucks but I'll miss him when he's kicked off in the next week or two.
I guess "ceviche" is the new "dessert."
And look out folks. Next week, Toby's back.
Power Rankings!
1. Bryan
2. Jennifer
3. Michael
4. Kevin
5. Mike
6. Eli
7. Ash
8. Laurine
9. Ashley
10. Robin
11. Ron
What was up with Tim Love's shirt? And speaking of apparel: Gail, it's the desert, let the twins breathe a little!
Ron sucks but I'll miss him when he's kicked off in the next week or two.
I guess "ceviche" is the new "dessert."
And look out folks. Next week, Toby's back.
Power Rankings!
1. Bryan
2. Jennifer
3. Michael
4. Kevin
5. Mike
6. Eli
7. Ash
8. Laurine
9. Ashley
10. Robin
11. Ron
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Let's Talk About How Misleading Ninja Vengeance Is
Ninja Vengeance.
"Ninja." "Vengeance." If God wanted a more awesome combination of words, He would've invented it.
And yet, Ninja Vengeance is unable to live up to its title.
The problem isn't the vengeance. There's plenty of it. No, my fault lies with the ninja. At first glance, he's just a normal white guy on a motorcycle, traveling from Wyoming to attend a conference in Houston. (The film does not say whether he's going to a ninja conference. "Texas Ninjas" could be the best b-movie never made.) But his bike breaks down in rural west Texas and he's forced to stay the night. And as he unloads all of his ninja gear onto his hotel bed for no reason but to explain to the audience that he is in fact a ninja, we see that he's not so normal after all. Flashbacks to his ninja training on a beach confirm this. The beaches of Wyoming? It's never explained.
Not once does our great white hope use throwing stars and nunchucks. Never does he dress in ninja garb. He's merely average at being stealthy, and he's not particularly bright either: after finding out that the town's corrupt cops double as its KKK branch and have just murdered a young black man, he calls... the police.
He's also really whiny. And despite being out for vengeance, as per the movie's title, he continuously affirms his desire not to hurt anyone.
I should've watched a Sho Kusugi movie instead. It's that depressing.
It's still available for viewing on Impact on Demand, if you're that desperate to experience it for yourself. It's fairly amusing as a bad movie, but disgraceful as a ninja film. Otherwise, there are some clips here.
"Ninja." "Vengeance." If God wanted a more awesome combination of words, He would've invented it.
And yet, Ninja Vengeance is unable to live up to its title.
The problem isn't the vengeance. There's plenty of it. No, my fault lies with the ninja. At first glance, he's just a normal white guy on a motorcycle, traveling from Wyoming to attend a conference in Houston. (The film does not say whether he's going to a ninja conference. "Texas Ninjas" could be the best b-movie never made.) But his bike breaks down in rural west Texas and he's forced to stay the night. And as he unloads all of his ninja gear onto his hotel bed for no reason but to explain to the audience that he is in fact a ninja, we see that he's not so normal after all. Flashbacks to his ninja training on a beach confirm this. The beaches of Wyoming? It's never explained.
Not once does our great white hope use throwing stars and nunchucks. Never does he dress in ninja garb. He's merely average at being stealthy, and he's not particularly bright either: after finding out that the town's corrupt cops double as its KKK branch and have just murdered a young black man, he calls... the police.
He's also really whiny. And despite being out for vengeance, as per the movie's title, he continuously affirms his desire not to hurt anyone.
I should've watched a Sho Kusugi movie instead. It's that depressing.
It's still available for viewing on Impact on Demand, if you're that desperate to experience it for yourself. It's fairly amusing as a bad movie, but disgraceful as a ninja film. Otherwise, there are some clips here.
Datarock at the Double Door, 9/11
I don't go to a lot of shows, but I still know that they aren't for obsessively punctual people. That being said, doors for the show were 9pm but didn't open until 9:30. One opening act later and Datarock didn't go on until 11:30. I realize that concerts require a bit of patience but it still pisses me off.
Fortunately, all was mostly forgiven since Datarock kicks ass live. Their show was the most fun I've had in weeks - and I didn't even know they were going to be in town until the night before. By the end of the night, every member of the band was shirtless and had been into the audience at least once. They're a European band so I don't know how much touring they do in America (right now they're promoting their new album) but I hope they come back to Chicago sometime soon.
Fortunately, all was mostly forgiven since Datarock kicks ass live. Their show was the most fun I've had in weeks - and I didn't even know they were going to be in town until the night before. By the end of the night, every member of the band was shirtless and had been into the audience at least once. They're a European band so I don't know how much touring they do in America (right now they're promoting their new album) but I hope they come back to Chicago sometime soon.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Top Chef Las Vegas 9/9
The problem with French cooking is that - pun sadly inevitable - it's completely foreign to me. Don't know the sauces, don't know the languages, don't eat frog legs or escargot (speaking of which, there seems to be no way to present escargot attractively on a plate). Thus, it's hard to get a feel for an episode like this. And besides, everyone was so nervous about cooking for Joel Robuchon that there was absolutely zero levity. Mike had a few good douchey comments, but besides that the proceedings were completely soulless.
Power rankings!
1. Jennifer
2. Bryan
3. Kevin
4. Michael
5. Eli
6. Mike
7. Robin
8. Ash
9. Mattin
10. Laurine
11. Ron
12. Ashley
Now we know who's the wheat, and who's the chaff. The top four, in whatever order, are unquestionable. Jesus, Jennifer and Bryan hardly need to talk to each other, they're that good. Mike veers wildly between impressive and unimpressive. Laurine and Robin benefit simply by not screwing up. While other cheftestants have had worse episodes this season than Ron, the guy is just a blank slate. He showed no spine working with Robin and hasn't done anything worth noting since the first episode. I guess Ashley just wants me to hate her. First she wears chunky hipster glasses, then she wears a tuxedo t-shirt. Oh, and she's a crappy chef and wilts when Tom and company grill her.
Good riddance to Jesse; the special Quickfire elimination seemed custom made for her so that the master chefs in the Elimination Challenge didn't have to suffer her food. Hector screwed up for sure, but you could've make a really good case for Ashley being PYKAG'd.
Power rankings!
1. Jennifer
2. Bryan
3. Kevin
4. Michael
5. Eli
6. Mike
7. Robin
8. Ash
9. Mattin
10. Laurine
11. Ron
12. Ashley
Now we know who's the wheat, and who's the chaff. The top four, in whatever order, are unquestionable. Jesus, Jennifer and Bryan hardly need to talk to each other, they're that good. Mike veers wildly between impressive and unimpressive. Laurine and Robin benefit simply by not screwing up. While other cheftestants have had worse episodes this season than Ron, the guy is just a blank slate. He showed no spine working with Robin and hasn't done anything worth noting since the first episode. I guess Ashley just wants me to hate her. First she wears chunky hipster glasses, then she wears a tuxedo t-shirt. Oh, and she's a crappy chef and wilts when Tom and company grill her.
Good riddance to Jesse; the special Quickfire elimination seemed custom made for her so that the master chefs in the Elimination Challenge didn't have to suffer her food. Hector screwed up for sure, but you could've make a really good case for Ashley being PYKAG'd.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
And I Can't Get It Out of My Head
Jason DeRulo - "Watcha Say"
Best. Hook. Ever.
Owl City - "Fireflies"
Poor Adam Young is going to be known for the next few months as "that guy who sounds like the guy from Death Cab for Cutie".
Lemon Jelly - "The Staunton Lick"
As seen in the finale of Spaced, which you should watch. Yes, you.
Best. Hook. Ever.
Owl City - "Fireflies"
Poor Adam Young is going to be known for the next few months as "that guy who sounds like the guy from Death Cab for Cutie".
Lemon Jelly - "The Staunton Lick"
As seen in the finale of Spaced, which you should watch. Yes, you.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Land of Linkin': Mad Men Edition
First, the gold standards:
- The AV Club
- Alan Sepinwall
- The House Next Door
I can't speak for the quality of the new blogger at The House Next Door because I haven't read him yet. The blogger for the first season and part of the second was amazing, but he lost a battle with cancer last year. It's a little odd to see someone else take up his work, hence my hesitation to read it.
Perfectly cromulent discussions:
- Slate
Light on discussion but indispensable for background:
- Mad Men Footnotes
And finally, as a bit of a guilty pleasure:
- Movieline's Mark Lisanti
The power rankings of the characters are reasonably entertaining, but this guy goes a step further and brings us the Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level, thereby making his posts required reading for every man, woman, and child in America.
- The AV Club
- Alan Sepinwall
- The House Next Door
I can't speak for the quality of the new blogger at The House Next Door because I haven't read him yet. The blogger for the first season and part of the second was amazing, but he lost a battle with cancer last year. It's a little odd to see someone else take up his work, hence my hesitation to read it.
Perfectly cromulent discussions:
- Slate
Light on discussion but indispensable for background:
- Mad Men Footnotes
And finally, as a bit of a guilty pleasure:
- Movieline's Mark Lisanti
The power rankings of the characters are reasonably entertaining, but this guy goes a step further and brings us the Don Draper Fingerbang Threat Level, thereby making his posts required reading for every man, woman, and child in America.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The Mad Men Marriage Misery Matrix (9/6)
1. Sal and Kitty
How heartbreaking was it to see Kitty watch Sal recreate Ann-Margaret's dance?
2. Joan and Dr. Douchebag
There's a case to be made for this permanently being #1, but right now the good doctor is merely being a jerk instead of a raping jerk.
3. Roger and Jane
Nosediving.
4. Don and Betty
Surprisingly stable, all things considered.
5. Pete and Trudy
See above. The Charleston = marriage saver!
6. Harry and Jennifer
Hardly worth mentioning, even.
How heartbreaking was it to see Kitty watch Sal recreate Ann-Margaret's dance?
2. Joan and Dr. Douchebag
There's a case to be made for this permanently being #1, but right now the good doctor is merely being a jerk instead of a raping jerk.
3. Roger and Jane
Nosediving.
4. Don and Betty
Surprisingly stable, all things considered.
5. Pete and Trudy
See above. The Charleston = marriage saver!
6. Harry and Jennifer
Hardly worth mentioning, even.
This Week in Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/silvio-berlusconi-not-a-fan-of-silvio-berlusconi-documentary
The state-run news network in Italy bans the trailer for a film about the Italian PM's control of the media.
The state-run news network in Italy bans the trailer for a film about the Italian PM's control of the media.
Once Again, Tweenage Girls Ruin Everything.
HarperTeen, a division of HarperCollins, is putting out a new edition of Wuthering Heights and the cover makes me weep for humanity.
Will the Twi-hards be disappointed when they find out that Wuthering Heights is the extremely non-romantic story of a batshit insane guy who can't get over this one chick's death? Or has Stephanie Meyer covered that in the books already?
All I know is, I have an excuse to post this video:
(soul-crushing discovery of the book via Topless Robot)
Will the Twi-hards be disappointed when they find out that Wuthering Heights is the extremely non-romantic story of a batshit insane guy who can't get over this one chick's death? Or has Stephanie Meyer covered that in the books already?
All I know is, I have an excuse to post this video:
(soul-crushing discovery of the book via Topless Robot)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Top Chef Las Vegas 9/2
Is it just me or was Padme being a bit of a bitch at judge's table tonight? It doesn't matter - the Indian boy got kicked off and it's high time for some power rankings!
1. Jennifer
2. Kevin
3. Eli
4. Michael
5. Bryan
6. Ash
7. Robin
8. Hector
9. Mike
10. Mattin
11. Ashley
12. Ron
13. Laurine
14. Jesse
These feel a little cobbled together, but at least I have a good feel for the cheftestants now. Not enough to make totally informed decisions, but I'm not grasping at straws either. I don't know why I'm so high on Jennifer; her ranking at the top reflects her character more than it does her talent (though she's shown definite talent, of course). The bottom two aren't any surprise. The people in the middle are somewhat interchangeable - what has Mattin done to distinguish himself? Anything?
Bad showing by the ladies so far. They really need to step it up.
I must say that I'm pretty stoked that the Atlanta chefs are doing so well. I really want to try the winning dish. Mmmmmm...
1. Jennifer
2. Kevin
3. Eli
4. Michael
5. Bryan
6. Ash
7. Robin
8. Hector
9. Mike
10. Mattin
11. Ashley
12. Ron
13. Laurine
14. Jesse
These feel a little cobbled together, but at least I have a good feel for the cheftestants now. Not enough to make totally informed decisions, but I'm not grasping at straws either. I don't know why I'm so high on Jennifer; her ranking at the top reflects her character more than it does her talent (though she's shown definite talent, of course). The bottom two aren't any surprise. The people in the middle are somewhat interchangeable - what has Mattin done to distinguish himself? Anything?
Bad showing by the ladies so far. They really need to step it up.
I must say that I'm pretty stoked that the Atlanta chefs are doing so well. I really want to try the winning dish. Mmmmmm...
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