Ninja Vengeance.
"Ninja." "Vengeance." If God wanted a more awesome combination of words, He would've invented it.
And yet, Ninja Vengeance is unable to live up to its title.
The problem isn't the vengeance. There's plenty of it. No, my fault lies with the ninja. At first glance, he's just a normal white guy on a motorcycle, traveling from Wyoming to attend a conference in Houston. (The film does not say whether he's going to a ninja conference. "Texas Ninjas" could be the best b-movie never made.) But his bike breaks down in rural west Texas and he's forced to stay the night. And as he unloads all of his ninja gear onto his hotel bed for no reason but to explain to the audience that he is in fact a ninja, we see that he's not so normal after all. Flashbacks to his ninja training on a beach confirm this. The beaches of Wyoming? It's never explained.
Not once does our great white hope use throwing stars and nunchucks. Never does he dress in ninja garb. He's merely average at being stealthy, and he's not particularly bright either: after finding out that the town's corrupt cops double as its KKK branch and have just murdered a young black man, he calls... the police.
He's also really whiny. And despite being out for vengeance, as per the movie's title, he continuously affirms his desire not to hurt anyone.
I should've watched a Sho Kusugi movie instead. It's that depressing.
It's still available for viewing on Impact on Demand, if you're that desperate to experience it for yourself. It's fairly amusing as a bad movie, but disgraceful as a ninja film. Otherwise, there are some clips here.
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