Let's talk about how dull Terminator Salvation is.

The Terminator franchise has been living on borrowed time since 2003. As in the series, judgement day was inevitable.

T3 could be the definition of an unnecessary sequel. It arrived in theaters 12 years after T2, a blockbuster success widely lauded as one of the best science fiction and action films ever made. Its star was in his fifties, far past his prime. James Cameron was not involved; director Jonathan Mostow only had a few films to his name. It was a money grab.

Strangely, it ended up being far better than it had any right to be. The action sequences were excellent - I dare anyone to think of a car chase in the 00's better than the Champion crane scene. And the film ended with the ballsy choice of John Connor failing to prevent Judgement Day.

History repeated itself yet again with Fox's Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles, which blithely reset continuity so that the third movie didn't exist. Once more, what appeared at first glance to be a cash-in ended up a hugely entertaining and surprisingly deep story with solid action sequences.

Enter Terminator Salvation, which ignored the series and picked up where T3 left off. Nobody would accuse McG of being a director on the level of James Cameron but he was a step up from Mostow in terms of name recognition. With Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator model no longer the focus, John Connor became the main character - a buff John Connor played by Batman himself, Christian Bale.

Reviews were lukewarm at best. They caused me to put off watching the film until it came out on DVD, but they couldn't get me to ignore it entirely. After all, the series had proven me wrong twice before.

Unfortunately, Terminator Salvation is devoid of everything that had previously made the franchise fun to watch.

There have always been four primary, inter-related issues at stake for the protagonists in the bulk of the Terminator franchise:

1. There is an unstoppable killing machine after us. Dying sucks, so we'd better run and/or hide.
2. We need to figure out how to kill it. The Terminator won't quit until we are dead; therefore, we must destroy it. Unfortunately, it's really hard to kill a Terminator.
3. We need to stop Judgement Day. Because the apocalypse sucks more than dying does.
4. John Connor must live. If Judgement Day does happen, John Connor must be alive so he can lead the human Resistance.

Terminator Salvation diminishes these stakes or removes them entirely. Judgement Day has happened and Skynet is everywhere. Terminators remain hard to kill, but the models aren't as advanced. Even if John's father, Kyle Reese, were to die before he traveled to the 1980's to impregnate Sarah Connor, it's hard to imagine John Connor vanishing into thin air. The franchise has played fast and loose with time travel so often that it's fair to say anything goes. Thus, the Terminator franchise turns what was once a chase or cat-and-mouse series into a standard action film, and a far less interesting one at that.

Now some words on the cast. Terminator Salvation's male leads, as of today, also starred in the second- and third-highest grossing films in US history. But Christian Bale wasn't the main draw in The Dark Knight, it was Heath Ledger. The Batman franchise has never put much stock in Bruce Wayne; the actor needs to look plausible as a millionaire and have a gruff voice. That's why Michael Keaton is believable as the Caped Crusader and why Wired called voice actor Kevin Conroy the best Batman of all time. Similarly, Sam Worthington's talents had no bearing on Avatar. In their most profitable roles, Bale and Worthington aren't just playing other people, they're playing other people whose alter egos outshine themselves. This is a longwinded way of saying that Bale and Worthington have no charisma.

Oh, and Worthington can't keep from slipping out of his American accent.

The John Connor of T2 was a little brat. Nick Stahl's John Connor didn't look like an action hero at all, and T:SCC's Connor was a reluctant, even unwilling savior. Christian Bale just yells a lot and looks intense.

Furthermore, the future of the first Terminator movie looked appropriately dark and grungy (it helped that the film was made on a surprisingly low budget) and the Resistance was a ragtag group of survivors. The future of Terminator Salvation takes placed in a bleached-out Mad Max-ian California and the Resistance operates like an uncoordinated but well-equipped paramilitary group with a puzzling hierarchical structure or lack thereof.

I shall be merciful for a second. Terminator Salvation has some excellent practical effects, and in terms of lackluster 2009 action films, it's not as bad as X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Its biggest crime is its mediocrity. But dammit, this is a franchise that I've come to expect something out of. People lauded Bryan Singer's take on X-Men for using pop culture sci-fi to explore thematically rich concepts. Well, I feel like I've just seen the Terminator series' version of X-Men: The Last Stand. And now that Lionsgate has purchased the rights, I'm afraid that my days of being surprised by the franchise have come to an end.